anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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