I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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