Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
