If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
sarcasm needs its own font
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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