The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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