his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
foreskin is a definite game changer
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
