I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
