I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
