Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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