That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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