The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
