How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
