My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
