If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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