I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
