SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
