I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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