Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
