Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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