Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize