i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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