Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
