went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
