Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
