I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
