yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
