Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
