how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
