Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Found the puke drawer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If I die, sorry about rent.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
