I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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