Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
