Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
