thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
