i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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