This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
