I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
