I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Found your dick twin last night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
