i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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