Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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