If i could tip my vagina, i would.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
where does the pee come out of this thing
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
