Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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