he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
