no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How naked do you want me to be?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
