where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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