go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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