I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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