its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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