I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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