Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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