Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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